Dearly belovèd readers!
We are gathered here today to witness a truly tragic event
of Gargantuan proportions, the likes of which the poetry publishing world has not witnessed, forsooth, since the turn of the
Third Millennium, to wit, the publication of the current issue of SONNETTO POESIA, which is now foisted on an utterly unsuspecting
world. Far be it from me, your ediratrice, Dame Edna II of Canuckistan, to dare impugn the literary merits of the rather demented
poets who have contributed their (ahem!) musterpieces to this issue of SP. I wouldn't be caught dead critiquing these fine,
fine, fine works. Not on your life, and not on mine!
"1066 and All That" having been duly enunciated, I dare say
you'll be thoroughly titillated by this Fall's poems (Fall is the right word, because they'll make your eyebrows fall for
sure!). At issue in our worthy (or worthless, as the case may be) issue are two sorts of sonnets/quatrains/poems, viz:
1. Suspicious sonnets and, in one case, even a "snotnet",
thoroughly deserving of its infamy.
The suspicious sonnets and poems are, as follows (with no
apologies whatsoever on the part of Her Royal Hind Ass, namely, me, myself, and I...)
From Canuckistan (aka "Canada"):
- "Yon Pissycat", a sonnet all about an ole' alley cat who
will inspire someone to do something, probably unmentionable;
- "My Twisted Mind", which refers, not to the twisted mind
of your ediratrice, moi, since my mind is not twisted whatsoever (merely contorted), but to the twisted, sick head of the
scribbler of said "sonnet" (choke!);
- "A bad sonnet you say", a sonnet which is particularly bad, not at all surprising
considering the "source" that penned it;
- "Two Teeny-Booper "I've got a crush on you!" sonnets", which are both pastiches
of ACTUAL lines high school students spouted in their essays. These are quite liable to have you split your ribs laughing
so hard you'll end up in Emergency in the hospital;
- "Whoso Squeals or Grunts", a rather naughty little dig on literary
and poetry critics, although of course this particular sonnet is FAR above any criticism, far be it from lil' ole' ME to critique
it! Never! .... especially considering this poem is so beautifully inspired by Sir Thomas Wyatt's lesser sonnet, "Whoso list
to hunt, I know where is an hind..." (and NO, Wyatt did not mean BEHIND!)
From the UK(otherwise known as, "Uk" or just plain "Ugh"):
2 ponnets ( i.e. "potato sonnets") from yours truly, Grendelbaum,
Tarquin, Orbisfleur the IIIrd., The Potato of Terror (UK),
RECUMBENT WHALE - which describes oh so fatfully the vast
gyrations and guffaws aroused when POT takes to the TUB &
GO THRUST - a delightful little ditty all about thrusting
your buttocks through your window frame, and the ensuing consequences, for which I am NOT responsible!
From the USA, where "us'a writes snotnets",
- "A Simple Sonnet", by Andrea Dietrich, a sonnet so saccharine
and cloying it'll have you smacking your lips sweet 'n sour;
- "Nature's Call", a perfectly HONEST little snotnet about,
well, go figure!... silly, "nature's call";
So do do do enjoy these perfectly mahvelous sonnets, ponnets
and snotnets, my dahlings!
I know I did (for a fleeting instant, at best)
Yours most egregiously,
Her Royal Hind Ass,
Dame Edna II of Canuckistan
KITTY SONNETS and poems!
On an altogether far far far more serious note, our kitties
have deigned to dash off some perfectly adorable kitty catasonnets and poems for your entire delectation. Now, as I, DEII
of CSTAN, have 4 cats of my own, Argentée, Daisy, Puffins and Squeak, and as my hubby has two, Marjo and Renoir, we just HAD
to ask our cats to write their own poems, which they (albeit grudgingly) condescended to compose for us, much as they might
compose their kitty litter.
So do enjoy our cat's feline offerings, sacrificial mousies
and the like.
We know we love them... i.e. both our cats and their poetry!
Signed, the same, DEIICSTAN
Over & Out!