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SONNETTO POESIA Vol 3 no 4 2004

Oh Canada Won excuse me 1!
Oh Canada too to er two?
UK (Uk is right!)
USA' writes snotnets











Dearly belovèd readers!

We are gathered here today to witness a truly tragic event of Gargantuan proportions, the likes of which the poetry publishing world has not witnessed, forsooth, since the turn of the Third Millennium, to wit, the publication of the current issue of SONNETTO POESIA, which is now foisted on an utterly unsuspecting world. Far be it from me, your ediratrice, Dame Edna II of Canuckistan, to dare impugn the literary merits of the rather demented poets who have contributed their (ahem!) musterpieces to this issue of SP. I wouldn't be caught dead critiquing these fine, fine, fine works. Not on your life, and not on mine!

"1066 and All That" having been duly enunciated, I dare say you'll be thoroughly titillated by this Fall's poems (Fall is the right word, because they'll make your eyebrows fall for sure!). At issue in our worthy (or worthless, as the case may be) issue are two sorts of sonnets/quatrains/poems, viz:

1. Suspicious sonnets and, in one case, even a "snotnet", thoroughly deserving of its infamy.

The suspicious sonnets and poems are, as follows (with no apologies whatsoever on the part of Her Royal Hind Ass, namely, me, myself, and I...)

From Canuckistan (aka "Canada"):

- "Yon Pissycat", a sonnet all about an ole' alley cat who will inspire someone to do something, probably unmentionable;
- "My Twisted Mind", which refers, not to the twisted mind of your ediratrice, moi, since my mind is not twisted whatsoever (merely contorted), but to the twisted, sick head of the scribbler of said "sonnet" (choke!);
- "A bad sonnet you say", a sonnet which is particularly bad, not at all surprising considering the "source" that penned it;
- "Two Teeny-Booper "I've got a crush on you!" sonnets", which are both pastiches of ACTUAL lines high school students spouted in their essays. These are quite liable to have you split your ribs laughing so hard you'll end up in Emergency in the hospital;
- "Whoso Squeals or Grunts", a rather naughty little dig on literary and poetry critics, although of course this particular sonnet is FAR above any criticism, far be it from lil' ole' ME to critique it! Never! .... especially considering this poem is so beautifully inspired by Sir Thomas Wyatt's lesser sonnet, "Whoso list to hunt, I know where is an hind..." (and NO, Wyatt did not mean BEHIND!)

From the UK(otherwise known as, "Uk" or just plain "Ugh"):

2 ponnets ( i.e. "potato sonnets") from yours truly, Grendelbaum, Tarquin, Orbisfleur the IIIrd., The Potato of Terror (UK),

RECUMBENT WHALE - which describes oh so fatfully the vast gyrations and guffaws aroused when POT takes to the TUB &
GO THRUST - a delightful little ditty all about thrusting your buttocks through your window frame, and the ensuing consequences, for which I am NOT responsible!

From the USA, where "us'a writes snotnets",

- "A Simple Sonnet", by Andrea Dietrich, a sonnet so saccharine and cloying it'll have you smacking your lips sweet 'n sour;
- "Nature's Call", a perfectly HONEST little snotnet about, well, go figure!... silly, "nature's call";

So do do do enjoy these perfectly mahvelous sonnets, ponnets and snotnets, my dahlings!

I know I did (for a fleeting instant, at best)

Yours most egregiously,

Her Royal Hind Ass,

Dame Edna II of Canuckistan




KITTY SONNETS and poems!

On an altogether far far far more serious note, our kitties have deigned to dash off some perfectly adorable kitty catasonnets and poems for your entire delectation. Now, as I, DEII of CSTAN, have 4 cats of my own, Argentée, Daisy, Puffins and Squeak, and as my hubby has two, Marjo and Renoir, we just HAD to ask our cats to write their own poems, which they (albeit grudgingly) condescended to compose for us, much as they might compose their kitty litter.

So do enjoy our cat's feline offerings, sacrificial mousies and the like.

We know we love them... i.e. both our cats and their poetry!

Signed, the same, DEIICSTAN

Over & Out!